Monday, May 17, 2010
SUP GUYS! Long time no update :D You all must be bored :x Ohkay, i go my results today, and i was kinda sad i got low marks for a maths. I was expecting like at least 70 or 80 marks upon 180. Oh well. Was satisfied with my chem :D Tml i just hope i do well for SS and LIT :D Especially SS, i wrote my ass off. Try my best ba! Also, i don't want ms shaheeda to treat me like melvyn cause i enjoy learning about governing and politics =] But i just suddenly lost touch of ss, for some weird reason. BUT! I'm trying my best to do well ^^ Was kinda happy today, although it was a normal day. I realised changes in people, from time to time, from the pain to pleasure. or vice versa. Its times where we miss and yet we did not treasure. I'm talking about a bunch of people here =] So yea, if your reading this, my advice, really, is to treasure the happy moments. The next term would be a sad term for the sweet souls in lit alr.. Oh man, ms banu, we will, definitely, miss you a hell lot. Maybe i would buy her a farewell gift! :D Maybe a nice lit story book, hmmmmmm, Any takers? Gotta be fast! Or i'll go solo! :S
A Paradigm Occured at, 9:28:00 PM.
Monday, May 10, 2010
I feel alive, i feel that i can breathe again. I feel the real you. =]
P.S. Iloveyou ♥
A Paradigm Occured at, 1:26:00 PM.
Friday, May 7, 2010
On the short note;
Just remember, i want you back. But maybe before that, we should have a chat, maybe if either your or my heart loses the feelings. Then maybe its time to forget and walk away.
Just remember, i want you back. But maybe before that, we should have a chat, maybe if either your or my heart loses the feelings. Then maybe its time to forget and walk away.
A Paradigm Occured at, 5:15:00 PM.
Hey guys! Its been a roughhhhh week =[ Well, i guess everyone is feeling better now :D Since we all can finally take a mini-break before banging the books again :x So yea, i wanna confess something to you guys. Actually, i really never appreciate other people, bothered about myself and everything, till i met this nerdy girl, wearing her glasses, weighing 60kg. Haha, yea its gonna be my somewhat love story. So one day, she sms-ed me. 'Is there any math homework?' I was like, wtf? I don't even study. I called and that girl didn't pick up. Soon i realised it was my baby. I can never forget how we met, how we had our first kiss, the moments spend together. Remembering all the times we have been together, my heart melts. I never expected love from a girl before. I was always thinking about nicole during my primary school days. I didn't bother about the other girls that 'liked' me. But after that long wait, i wanted to ask her out, to be mine. And she left. I knew the chances of getting her was dead-zero. I kept trying to get in touch with her. Till 3years, when i was sec 1. I finally got the courage to ask. And whatthefuck yea. She said, i've changed. She doesn't like the way i am. From that moment on, i told myself. The next girl, i want her to be the happiest girl on earth. I want her to be HAPPY to have me. Boom, here i am. I don't know, i've never really tasted true happiness for long. In every happiness i seeked, i always had to pay a price. A painful price, i either had to sacrifice someone for another, or prepared to get scolding or prepared for the emo-ness i'm going to get after that 1hour of giggling and laughter.
From what i learnt that happened between me and nicole that never started, i changed. I seeked for a better me, to have a better you. Well yea, who doesn't want to have a hot girlfriend. Yea, so what if i'm skinny? Does it matter if you have a hot guy that slaps you, hits you, throw you around while he fucks some other chick? I don't see why girls only look at stuff momentarily. I wished you never started that fucking thought of getting abs and losing weight. Maybe thats why people say, don't let it go away. I shouldn't have let things go your way, i should have controlled you. I shoudn't have respected every single decision you made in your life. I feel guilty that i cause this change in you.
Do you know the hatred people have for you? I can't be blamed for it. Even my cousin knows you, and people talk about you. Its not me thats bringing you the reputation. Just walking around and throwing your tantrums can cause a scene in this school. Folded arms, attitude. All these. Yea we all want the best. I want the best too. Do i have the best? I've never had anything to be really proud of from young. I grew up not like other kids. Smiling happy and whatsoever. I grew up with canings every week, scars, traumatising events. Do you know what it feels like to get hurt by your loved one? The heartwrecking pain that never stops in your heart. As a young boy, i grew up like this. For every single little mistake, its caning. I grew up with pain. So yea, if you grew up like this. Maybe you would wanna join me in my life.
Back to her. I really enjoyed our whole 2 years of relationships. But i stopped feeling secured a year back. I felt that, you were cheating on me. That guy, that so called 'JOB' guy. I wasn't dumb. I checked up on him. I really don't wanna talk about that dog. I felt the need to check up on you. The need to know what your doing. And the very fucking incident that tore me apart. You went to sentosa alone to suntan. And some random guys came up to you and took photos. Oh com'on. If you can't reject, just say no. Or call me. What am i to you? Was i even your boyfriend? Wtf. I can't accept this fact till today. Honestly, i've never took a photo with another girl. Not less say in my swimwear. Do you know how painful it is? But yet, yet, i still forgave you.
All i expected from you, was to be faithful to me. Be with me. Love me. I didn't want much. I don't understand whats wrong with girls. When things striked them, they get complacent.
Maybe i shouldn't say much about our relationship. Lets talk about me. So recently, i message evan, angela and buk to ask them. Am i truly happy? I asked myself. I reply to myself that god, i'm just fucking happy to lay in bed and talk all the nonsense with you. Get a heartwarming massage from you. Yea, i was truly happy. I was satisfied with you, I didn't want more. But you wanted more, more for yourself. So anyway, evan said, nope. your not. I asked why. She said she could just tell from her senses. Well, obviously, i wasn't happy at all. She could just see through my mask that i was wearing, even though i joked and smiled when we are out. Its just weird how people study others. I expected her to say i was, but maybe she knew i really wasn't.
Moving on. Angela replied and said. She doesn't know cause she wasn't in school only when exams. Hmmm.. But i didn't expect her to even reply :x So yea. And of course, i think buk is either too tired or whatsoever. It didn't really bother me (don't worry buk) anyway :D Anyway, thx for the people who actually bother to read, and you, my love, if you keep stalking, and don't leave the taggy on the taggy box. I'll kill you and rape you apart :D Better leave a tag, even if the words are fuck you =]
I love people that are truthful to me and not an artifice. I hate people that pretend to be someone else. I want to have the true you cause thats the reason why i want to befriend, talk, or be with you. Cause its the true you i'm looking for. Not your nice hot body, or boobs, or sex, or intelligence or looks. Its your heart that i would be talking to my friends. Not your body. Remember that.
So i guess i'll end off by saying the quote of the day;
Inner beauty is what that beautifies ones appearance.
With the best of it, you can be the most beautiful woman/girl/guy/man even if your ugly.
A Paradigm Occured at, 4:34:00 PM.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Hey guys! Surprisingly, my dads not back yet =] Sorry i wasted your time today buk. I haven study SS at all. I might just cramp everything up at night or something. I really can't be bothered much alr. I've kind of lost faith and regain faith in SS. I'm too tired to keep getting push to the ground then get up again. If you want me as your student, as a human being to be truthfully interested in this subject, then you shouldn't even be acting this way. I don't know. I'm a turmoil. Check out the new blog song btw =] Its nicee. I'm thinking of joining evangeline in volunteering for the SPCA. Kinda fun and its helpful =] After watching how they killed dogs in China, i believe that its better that i contribute for the earth =] I only hope evangeline wouldn't mind T.T Anyone wanna join me too? Join me in this battle to kill the China poachers! :D LOL!! I'm doing this for the dogs and animals =] The more the merrier :D If got enough people, maybe i don't go disturb evangeline >< Haha! Ohkay, i hope this kinda entertained you, have a good day ahead! AND GO FUCKING STUDY. Bye! :D
A Paradigm Occured at, 5:40:00 PM.
Hello guys, so i don't know if i chose the right decision, but i guess i would be able to concentrate properly during my studying periods. Oh well. Its chem today, in like 1 hour. I'm feeling so lazy to go for it -.- My freaking mum keeps waking me up and i can't have a full proper sleep. Fucking annoying. I slept around 12 ytd, cause i was smsing around and chatting =] Its kinda sad that many people lie on the same state as me. No real close buddies to just be a listening ear, or counsell them. You know, if your a friend out there, and you know whats going on, you should at least show them that someone cares. Don't wait till the moment when they are about to suicide or do something stupid and say, ' Maybe i'm going tonight.' and you spam them -.- Thats just being mean. Your not truthful about it.
You guys must be reading and reading and wondering why am i suddenly talking so much crap? Haha, i actually did the lit paper yesterday and felt that the word 'relationship' was a huge impact on it. So i was reflecting all day long about it. I asked myself, why people don't appreciate their close relationships and only when they lose it then they start making a fuss about it. I mean its true that we must fail to learn, but hey, once bitten shame on you, twice bitten shame on me. I hope this would really bring about to appreciate you readers feelings toward your friendship, family and whatsoever. Its about time, we start to love people not love ourselves and more. Cause if your still going to be selfish and have everything your way. Maybe its time to ditch that person, that person could most probably be ruining earth too. Selfish people always have a common misdoing and thats harming earth so remember that :D
Ohkay enough of my nonsense =[ i would be working harder on a new song thats in my mind for a longggggg time :D I know have said this before, but guys just wait =] Also, i would work on the chord progression and solo of the old song =] Oh yea! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE, jio me out during the june holidays ohkay :D I think we should be done with our song by the end of june holiday, i'm not sure, but i'll try.
Quote of the day;
If you try, You might; If you don't, you won't.
Try applying this to life and you will feel the difference. =]
P.S. I'm really pissed with my mum, so if i'm in a bad mood with you, please forgive me T.T CYA!
You guys must be reading and reading and wondering why am i suddenly talking so much crap? Haha, i actually did the lit paper yesterday and felt that the word 'relationship' was a huge impact on it. So i was reflecting all day long about it. I asked myself, why people don't appreciate their close relationships and only when they lose it then they start making a fuss about it. I mean its true that we must fail to learn, but hey, once bitten shame on you, twice bitten shame on me. I hope this would really bring about to appreciate you readers feelings toward your friendship, family and whatsoever. Its about time, we start to love people not love ourselves and more. Cause if your still going to be selfish and have everything your way. Maybe its time to ditch that person, that person could most probably be ruining earth too. Selfish people always have a common misdoing and thats harming earth so remember that :D
Ohkay enough of my nonsense =[ i would be working harder on a new song thats in my mind for a longggggg time :D I know have said this before, but guys just wait =] Also, i would work on the chord progression and solo of the old song =] Oh yea! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE, jio me out during the june holidays ohkay :D I think we should be done with our song by the end of june holiday, i'm not sure, but i'll try.
Quote of the day;
If you try, You might; If you don't, you won't.
Try applying this to life and you will feel the difference. =]
P.S. I'm really pissed with my mum, so if i'm in a bad mood with you, please forgive me T.T CYA!
A Paradigm Occured at, 9:29:00 AM.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
This is why i love paramore so much , -Playing God .
P.S. This is a tribute to Hayley's tough life in her early childhood, god bless you .
Can't make my own decisions or make any with precision
Well, maybe you should tie me up so I don't go where you don't want me
You say that I've been changing, that I'm not just simply aging
Yeah, how could that be logical?
Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat
Wo-o-o-ho-oh
You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger... I'll point you to the mirror
If God's the game that you're playing
Well, we must get more acquainted
Because it has to be so lonely... to be the only one who's holy
It's just my humble opinion, but it's one that I believe in
You don't deserve a point of view, if the only thing you see is you
Wo-o-o-ho-oh
You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger... I'll point you to the mirror
This is the last second chance(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm half as good as it gets(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm on both sides of the fence(I'll point you to the mirror)
Without a hint of regret... I'll hold you to it
I know you don't believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger... I'll point you to the mirror
I know you won't believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger... I'll point you to the mirror
P.S. This is a tribute to Hayley's tough life in her early childhood, god bless you .
A Paradigm Occured at, 10:58:00 AM.
